She said, “Wow! I can’t believe how open you are about your life.” “Ha ha” I laughed oops! I guess that what I said was “TMI” (too much information) for her, but at the same time the Lord spoke to my heart “yeah but that is what I love about you. You make my kingdom real and shine bright so that nothing is closed up inside and given to the devil to devour to break you down but all is shown so that I may be glorified and change lives.” (Eph 5:13 & James 5:20) In these moments when “my love” speaks to me like this I realize and am so grateful He loved me enough to never give up on me when I was lost in immaturity and addiction and losing every part of myself to look at me in awe and put people in my path to constantly encourage me, lift me up and give me worth so that He could speak in a loud voice to me and I would hear because of how close He was holding me in His embrace. There were countless times in my life in the past where I would talk too much, someone would comment and I would be so sensitive to it I would let it eat me alive to the state of depression. Ever been there? It’s not my fault, my loud mouth is genetic!! Haha just picking. God has really worked on me in this area giving me discernment in my heart and letting the Holy Spirit flow when needed. Although I am definitely a work in progress (hush your mouth family). Along with this area God has also been working in me to be a better servant, wife, mother and friend which all are definitely an ongoing work in progress. One area that I struggle with most (well its not all that bad it just comes with a lot of conviction) would be anger. Anger is probably one of my hardest faults to overcome because it’s a daily battle. I’m sure those that are stay-at-home’s can relate (well I hope I’m not the only one). This one is a little funny because even though I can be laid back and passive sometimes I also have this spark that when ignited gets all kinds of crazy! Lets just say the many verses when it says our God is “slow to anger” start replaying in my head and I cry out, “please Lord make me like You, open my eyes and slow my anger!” Ha! Doesn’t always work or it’s a little too late then I find myself apologizing for all the horrible things I just allowed to flow out of me and asking God to please forgive me. Hott mess??? Yes I am all sorts of mess but thank you Jesus for loving me so much in my mess that “You call me out upon the waters the great unknown where feet may fail and there I find You in the mystery in oceans deep, my faith with stand. And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace for I am Yours, and You are mine.”(lyrics from “Oceans”- Hillsong United) Remember as Christ lovers because we are all different and all caught up in our own mess do not be quick to judge rather have fervent love for one another.-1Peter 4:8- Don’t react like the world but react how Jesus would because our reactions will always determine how far God is able to reach others. Allow Him to work through you to save lives so that they may have eternal life and peace. We are all messed up so stop hiding it. Bless others, be blessed by others and let God be the victor let Him be glorified!!
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